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When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay! - Julius Henry Marx, A Night At The Opera
The following rules were composed based on observations by myself and other Internet users, some are as old as Usenet, some come from 4chan, 7chan, wakachan or 2chan, others are just universal Internet truths, I have collected them in an attempted to educate those new to the Internet, if you've got an addition or correction, feel free to contact me about it.
Internet Rule 1: Intellectual property ends upon entrance to the Internet.
Internet Rule 2: All media is pirated, if not prior to its release, soon thereafter.
Internet Rule 3: In a discussion, generalities are treated as absolutes.
Internet Rule 4: In a discussion, facts are used to imply their user's preferences.
Internet Rule 5: As a discussion grows longer the probability of the sexual preference of a participant being questioned approaches 1. Also known as lol fag.
Internet Rule 6: As a discussion grows longer the probability of a comparision with National Socialists or Adolf Hitler approaches 1. Also known as Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies, or simply Godwin's Law.
Internet Rule 7: In a discussion, facts are used to imply equivalence in their subject matter.
Internet Rule 8: In a discussion, key words are always omitted or ignored.
Internet Rule 9: A statement made with precision, tact and factual basis will be interpreted in the stupidest of manners possible.
Internet Rule 10: If a debate is going poorly, the weaker side will conjure their own facts.
Internet Rule 11: Regardless of any evidence, no matter how undeniable or absolute, you can never win an argument.
Internet Rule 12: A tangential discussion is vastly easier to have than an on topic one.
Internet Rule 13: The fastest way to lose an argument is to base your point of view in logic.
Internet Rule 14: Arguing with someone who is provocative and obviously baiting for an argument only fuels further arguments of the same type. Also known as Don't Feed The Trolls.
Internet Rule 15: Anything done, said, or made can and will eventually be subverted to be used against its proprietor.
Internet Rule 16: The more you show your opposition to something the greater its support becomes. Also known as the Streisand Effect.
Internet Rule 17: Regardless of the situation, an increased level of cowbell, desu, lense flares, or midi audio will improve it. Also known as meme.
Internet Rule 18: Everything that can be labeled can be hated, and is by someone.
Internet Rule 19: Originality only lasts long enough for the first person to see it, consequently everything is old.
Internet Rule 20: If it looks like a trap, it is a trap. If it looks clear, it's a clever trap. Also known as Akbar's Law.
Internet Rule 21: Regardless of your online accomplishments, they will never amount to anything of lasting effect or importance.
Internet Rule 22: There is always something more disturbing than that which you just saw.
Internet Rule 23: Noone really knows who you are or what you do.
Internet Rule 24: Nothing is ever as anonymous as you think, even your neighbor has the Internet.
Internet Rule 25: If it can be said, it has, as text inside an amusing graphic.
Internet Rule 26: The purer a thing is, the greater the tenacity in its eventual corruption.
Internet Rule 27: In the end, nothing is sacred.
Internet Rule 28: Female sexuality is the only edge in an argument.
Internet Rule 29: Cheesecake is always better received than Beefcake.
Internet Rule 30: If it is ever in question, the gender of a user is male.
Internet Rule 31: The Internet is for porn.
Internet Rule 32: A version of the opposite gender exists of all male characters, while a version of all females characters exist with secondary gender traits.
Internet Rule 33: Regardless of what it is, there is an anthromorphic version of it.
Internet Rule 34: If it is or was ever a part of popular culture, or if it can be conceived, there is a pornographic version.
Internet Rule 35: No matter what it is, there is a fetish for it.
Internet Rule 36: No matter how outrageous it is, if it has even the smallest of percentages of profit on a transaction, there is someone attempting it.
Internet Rule 37: Nothing dies on the Internet, it is only moved or modified. All damage is routed around, from black line to censorship.
Internet Rule 38: The lowest common denominator always wins.
Internet Rule 39: People are full of shit, take everything with salt.
Internet Rule 40: It is impossible to distinguish between parody and reality. Also known as Poe's Law.
This site and it's contents are copyright © 2005 - 2017 Nathan Montague. Reproduction of content of this site is prohibited except where otherwise explicitly granted.